Most men fear to express themselves because they have been groomed to find solutions on their own.
This is what Peter Igaga, said when asked why men do not easily share their problems with one another. Igaga on the Boyz to Men show, said that most men are always taught to be strong and tough and to figure things out. And so, so many things at once end piling up which affects them.
“It’s hard for men to express themselves when they are getting into trouble because they are always trying to figure out stuff since it’s their nature,” he said.
Igaga adds that men need a support system at home which can help them find solutions to the things they are going through.
“Now, you have to have a spine. You can’t be a cry baby and go whining all the time… but you have to have a support system that helps you address your issues. Can you get mentorship? Can you learn? Can you be able to find workable solutions to your issues?” he asked.
He however advises that the men should use the different ways to find help like technology.
Igaga explains that it’s getting hard for men every day and most women think that men are having it easy.
“As a fact it’s getting harder and harder for men. We need safe spaces as men. Sometimes we underplay the depth of mental issues in men. 20% of all the men in Kampala have mental issues. So out of the 10 men, two have mental issues,” he says.
Most men are under pressure to deliver everything and this has caused men to be judged basing on what they deliver.
“The reality is, most men are people going through so much and they have no one to share with,” he said.
At one point, Brian Mulondo the show host asked, why it is easy for men to laugh it off when other men are struggling, at which Maritza a co-presenter said this happens because men are not taught to be vulnerable.
“Vulnerability is learnt. People assume vulnerability is in your DNA but it has to be learnt,” Maritza said.
Igaga advises that men need peer groups to discuss the things that affect them because these groups are usually helpful.
“You need a small group of solid guys who you can rely on, who can give you information, who can give you direction, who can build you,” he said.