Ours is a blended family. He came with two daughters while I brought my three-year-old son. We are yet to get a child of our own but we have been living peacefully until I noticed a sudden change. He no longer treats my son as his own. He has hinted that I should take him back to the father because he has become a burden. I do not have any problems with his children. How can I make him see that my boy too is his child?
Anonymous
Dear Anonymous,
Unlike a first marriage, a blended family comes with its challenges – such as the couple trying to be accommodative to the other spouse’s child or children and at the same time trying to keep the new love alive. This is very common and I would like to let you know that you are not alone.
Generally speaking, relationship building takes time, and do not expect that your family will unite overnight, sometimes it might take longer than expected.
Children’s welfare in a marriage whether blended or not depends on the quality of their parent’s relationship.
If possible it is much easier when a couple takes time to discuss how exactly they would love to handle the issue of children coming from their previous relationships before they even get married or move in.
However, if this part is skipped, it instead leaves a lot of unsorted future issues in the relationship.
I am not sure if you and your partner had agreed on how you will run a blended family but in case you did not, ask him out for dinner or coffee and let him know that you would love to discuss matters concerning the family.
