BoyzToMen: Research shows that it is normal to hate your stepchild – Igaga

“A blended family is what people refer to as a stepfamily. It is a blend, it’s not your traditional family but it is a blend. There is a dark side and a bright side to having a blended family,” Igaga said on the BoyzToMen section on D’Mighty Breakfast show. A blended family happens when one person who has children meets someone who also has or doesn’t have children and they decide to become one family and live together.

Igaga soberly states that that a number of the blended families are not successful.

“Roughly 65% end up in disaster. The bright side is that 35% is a lot,” Igaga says.

Igaga says that it’s important for the couple to understand the relationship especially when there is a child in the picture.

“One of the things to take into consideration when starting a blended family is that you need to understand that there is a child involved.”

According to Igaga, it’s important to consider what the child feels because they have to adjust to the changes in the relationships.

“Now if I’m dating Maritza, before then, I was that fun uncle or friend to the child. Now I’ve taken off those shoes and I’m the father. That transition to the father is confusing. It’s important to take the child’s feelings into consideration because the child starts resenting them,” he states.

He advises that couples should slowly introduce their partners into the family, adding that there has to be a transitional process because human beings are very territorial especially if it’s not your bloodline.

“You cannot expect it to be normal to introduce this child to this man. It has to be gradual. Research shows that it is very okay and normal to hate your stepchild,” Igaga revealed.

He adds that it’s complicated when the child is a teenager and has his or her biological parents, alive.

“The child will start a comparison between you and their biological parents. Sometimes children start playing games to suit themselves and play on your guts.”

It is important for the couple to have a bond and make sure the child’s opinion doesn’t necessarily cause confusion, otherwise they will mess up the relationship.

He advises parents to blend and mix well so as to avoid breaking up.

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Written by Noelyn Nassuuna